Oh, Secondary Infertility, how are you? I wasn’t ignoring you, I just wasn’t returning your phone calls. I have had other things to worry about recently.
Today is cycle day 29 for me. I’m not overly concerned yet, nor hopeful, because last cycle was a 33 day cycle. Other than Metformin twice a day, I’m still medication/intervention free since my Clomid cycle in May.
Yesterday, I started getting some typical premenstrual symptoms, complete with crying. I had to leave my fitness class last night because I started getting weepy. Granted it is because this had become something Eva and I had started doing together, and naturally she wasn’t there because she is still with her father. So I had reason to be weepy. Usually, however, I can control it a bit better.
I have used an ovulation prediction kit this entire cycle. According to the test strips, I haven’t ovulated. Intellectually speaking, I do believe the strips are right. Emotionally speaking, sometimes I think maybe I will prove the test strips wrong with a positive pregnancy test in a few days. Everybody has to have a dream, right?
I have been very lax on my dieting/trying-to-conceive, self-imposed rules. My PCOS is still going strong, of course, so I do have moments of guilt. I had two beers with dinner the other night. I spoke in an earlier post about some wine and some pasta. I also spoke about overcoming guilt, and not letting guilt steal my joy. I’m trying. Some days are harder. It has been nice, though, to just enjoy life for a minute.
The goal today is to relax and enjoy Independence Day.