My Heart Flutters

As Eva and my husband were playing together earlier, I felt content and happy.   Each laugh made my chest tighten with affection.  These moments of happiness are what I live for every day. 

My husband was pretending that he didn’t know who she was, and she responded, “It’s me, Eva,” through her giggles.  He continued this game a little bit longer, and Eva said something that made my heart flutter for a moment.

We are about thirty-six hours away from our flight to California where Eva will spend a month away from us with her father.  Her father is all she has been talking about for days now in anticipation of seeing him.

In this moment of play with her favorite step-father (step-Bubba, as she says), through her giggling and words she still found a way to to remind me for a moment how much she loves her life here. 

It’s sad to admit, but I have been feeling insecure that maybe she will decide she likes her father’s house more than she likes it here, with me.  I don’t want her to dislike her father’s house, but i most definitely want her to always want to come back to me.

As he asked her again who she was, her answer this time changed.  She said, “It’s me, your kid”.

My heart fluttered.  She is our kid, and I’m luckier than words can express to have her.  That she so freely claims my husband as her Bubba, makes my heart swell with happiness and pride in both of them.

She repeated this several more times, and it was music to my ears each time.  This is what I want for my daughter.  I want her to feel loved, reasonably happy, and for her to have a sense of family and belonging. 

We are hers and she is ours.  What more could I ask for?


6 Replies to “My Heart Flutters”

  1. ❤ I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it will be for you when she's away. I know she will be so happy to come home to you again! ❤

  2. What a lovely moment! I imagine it’s difficult to hear her gushing with excitement about leaving. While it’s nice she’s happy and looking forward to it, I sometimes struggle when I’m overloaded with hearing about the “other” parent. I hope the month goes by quickly for you and your husband!

    1. Thank you. You are absolutely correct. It is difficult, to say the least. I cried talking to her about it the other day. Luckily, she has a sensitive soul and her reaction to my tears is to give me hugs and reassure me that she’ll miss me, too, but we’ll both be okay.

      I suspect when she gets home all we’re going to hear about is the “other” parent for a while. I’m just hoping it’s all good things and nothing I will to lose my mind over.

      1. Just remember, if you are hearing this much about him, someone she hardly sees, imagine how much they’re going to hear about you and your husband! Sometimes it helps me to think about that when I start going nuts hearing about the other parent so much.

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