I Just Can’t Resist

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I took another test last night, and again this morning first thing. The result (thankfully!) was the same. The picture above was from the test this morning.

As I was preparing to take the test last night, I still had to go through an entire mental conversation to prepare myself for a negative result. Some things never change I suppose, or at least do not change quite so quickly as I would like. I told myself that it was okay if the test was negative because I was using urine from in the evening, not first morning urine. I told myself it was okay if it was negative this time because I had been drinking quite a bit of water and peeing every hour. I told myself that it was okay if the test was negative this time, because at least I got a positive in that morning.

I don’t know why I bothered with such a talk because I definitely would not have felt that anything was okay if the test had been negative. As the test (a Clear Blue digital, as you can see) was sitting on my bathroom counter with the little hour glass flickering on and off on the display, over and over, I started to panic for a moment. Why was it taking so long? I had never used a digital test before. I was used to some sort of result fairly quickly. I made myself take a breath and read the instructions again, this time looking for how long the test is supposed to take. It said 3 minutes for a pregnant or not pregnant result to show, and then another 3 minutes before it told me how many weeks. By the time a clear, digital “Pregnant” displayed on the screen I let out a deep sigh. I was instantly relieved.

The test says 2-3 weeks since conception. Follow the instructions and this means that I am 4-5 weeks pregnant, not the 6 I had calculated. My last period was June 5th. This Thursday should be week 7. Since I don’t know when ovulation occurred, I guess I will just have to wait for the ultrasound to get a more reliable date.

I called my ob/gyn’s office today to schedule an appointment at the 8 week mark. I told them I was a bit confused when that really would be. The nurse assured me that they would figure it out for sure when they did the ultrasound, but for now we would go by my last period. This means my appointment is only a week from this Thursday! I am so excited for this!

Now that I don’t have my mind ignoring symptoms, I am finally realizing I have so many pregnancy symptoms I have been ignoring. I’m starting to feel more confident that this is really happening, and that everything will work out.

My husband’s best friend and his girlfriend came over last night and were here when I got home from work. My husband hadn’t given a single thought to the bathroom trash containing a positive pregnancy test. The friend’s girlfriend had seen it, and she was ready to pounce when I got home from work. I was not very welcoming of her congratulations, however. I should have been more gracious, but I felt like her happiness and congratulations could be unfounded, and worse that she was somehow jinxing the whole thing. That maybe I’m not really pregnant (I had only taken one test a that time), or that maybe something is wrong since I did not get a positive until cycle day 45. So ridiculous, especially since I am writing blog posts about it. I told my two closest friends as well. I supposed it just caught me off guard since she found out by looking in my trash, not because I chose to tell her. I’m hoping to start that conversation over with her in a week.

Well, Eva comes home from California this Saturday. I can hardly wait! I will be off work for a few days after her return so we can get some much needed time in together. I am wondering now when and how to tell Eva to expect a baby brother or sister? Anyone have any suggestions? I am thinking that it will be more real if I at least have an ultrasound picture to show her, but when is the appropriate time? I don’t want her to feel left out, and I definitely want her to be the first to know before our families are told.

What great problems to have! Thank you everyone for all the congratulations and well wishes and comments!

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10 thoughts on “I Just Can’t Resist

    • I’m feeling very confident that any danger has passed (knock on wood). I don’t have any legitimate, medically based resons, it’s just something I feel. I am realizing though that I’m suddenly superstitious about it all, even though I never have been before. I feel like by telling people it will somehow jinx things. I bled pretty heavily with Eva at the 4 and 6 week mark, and I still had no problem being open and honest with anyone who cared to listen that I was pregnant. No superstition then. Go figure!

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